The Mysticism of Mondays

About a year ago I sat with the resident tarot intuitive, Uma Simon, at Kashi Florida and had my cards read. About a year previous to this she did a reading for me over the phone. At the conclusion of this reading, I told her that I, too, once read cards. I hadn’t realized I’d been missing it until the admission fell from my lips.

I’d stopped reading tarot cards when I realized how ardently I’d been wrestling with them. Somewhere between terrible romantic relationships for my entire adult life and going into yoga teacher training I became exhausted by the various methods of mental and energetic martial arts I employed against the Universe. My plea was often, “Tell me what in the f*ck to do!” while attempting to get the Cosmos to submit in a badly executed leg lock.

Uma gave me some advice at the end of that conversation that opened the door to reading cards without the plastic and superficial focus of fortune telling. It seems when we try to foresee the future it can cheapen the moment; from this I have learned from my renewed interest in tarot that what it really deals with is the present moment and everything we bring with us into it. It deals with the same space as meditation and other spiritual practices, making tarot its own sadhana. In this way, tarot may offer inspiration and perspective without the gravity of neediness that accompanies the desperation of, “Tell me what in the f*ck to do!”

I’d gotten rid of all my decks except for the Ancient Egyptian Tarot, which interestingly can be found on Amazon right now for about three hundred dollars, used. No you can’t have mine and no, it isn’t for sale. I also kept the Tarot of the Cat People and Halloween Tarot, all of which I kept with the same reverence I store old paperback romance novels I can’t bring myself to get rid of, up to and including Quantum Leap fan fiction (I am not kidding).

Invigorated by my conversation with Uma, I began buying new decks. I relish the new, independent decks out there now, from the wild and naked She Wolfe Tarot to the demure, tea stained Ophidia Rosa Tarot. Dear Reader, I became a tarot slut. I love being able to look at the cards online before I buy the deck and all the unboxing videos. I think the colors and audacity and sometimes irreverent simplicity of twenty-first century decks are amazing. I feel like a time traveler in a new era. I also bought the Rider-Waite Smith deck because that is what Uma used and I wanted to have it in my collection as an homage to her because she empowered my reading so sincerely.

My most recent purchase is Mystic Mondays – Good Vibes Only  – which is an independently published tarot deck that probably went through a fundraising cycle for its first few incarnations before getting picked up by a publisher (congratulations). I’ve looked at this deck before and thought to myself, “Prana Devi, you can’t take all of them home.”

Some of you may remember Monastic Mondays, a practice I had years ago when I was in teacher training. Sometimes called my Pants-less Holiday, I’d resolve not to do anything any more necessary than meditate, write and possibly go for a run (I would wear pants for that). Monday is a day sacred to Shiva, so I adopted this practice as a devotional practice, sometimes doing a semi-fast or practicing a coffee puja – you know, normal stuff.

It was the one day of the week on which I was uncompromising. I wouldn’t take or make an appointment, I wouldn’t even leave the house. This time of hermitage is important and sacred because I work in the public, with the public, almost every other day of the week. But then I started teaching yoga, which in some ways is just another way of working with the public, even though you can usually assume the clientele will behave a little less like the damn public and a little more like human beings.

I taught two classes on Monday, adding this to my schedule thinking that teaching a yoga class couldn’t possibly impinge on my monastic holiday but would, in fact, enhance it. Teaching yoga is a sacred offering, after all. Y’all, I was a new teacher and didn’t know any better. By the time I realized I’d sold my only sacrosanct day of the week it was too late; the studio owner held my feet to the fire. Of course, I allowed it, so bad on me.

When the Mystic Mondays tarot crossed my screen on Instagram with the announcement that this was the last round of self-published decks and the next batch would be printed by a publisher (congratulations) I felt a flutter of panic because there is something innately special about the effort and quality of the self-published tarot deck. They seem to have a little more of the artists’ hand on them, they are a little closer to the origin of all art. So I visited the website, where I read the inspiration for Mystic Mondays tarot: The name Mystic Mondays is inspired by fresh starts and new beginnings. We have the power to set intentions that will carry on with us for the day, week, year, or even a lifetime. Mystic Mondays is a lighthearted way to introduce spirituality into your daily life, and most of all, to have some fun while you’re doing it!

I realized I previously treated Monday like a reset point, a day home following sometimes grueling weekends of restaurant work. Monday, of all days, was a daylong spiritual retreat. I found for myself something opposite of the Monday blues, where we set and forget intentions for our day, week, year or lifetime.

Mystic Mondays arrived on Monday, which I take as an auspicious sign. My life is different than it was when I was in teacher training, I am busier but the nature of my work is no longer chaotic. I’m not strung out with the dogged determination to be a full-time yoga teacher; I am content right now with the work I do because of the freedom it gives me. Even so, I go through days when I think about challenging the Universe, to rush and wrestle, perhaps against the stream, for the life I imagined for myself eight or ten years ago.

I’m inspired anew to take these goals, intentions and moments of simple being Monday to Monday, perhaps day by day, and if I’m really smart, moment to moment. The future is waiting ahead of a million choices and breaths, the past can not breathe for us. But in the moment is where every inspiration has been brought through into reality. The moment is where I wish to sit, enlivened perhaps by brightly colored pictures of inspiration and perspective.

 

 

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The Smorgasbord Moon

unicorn

You’ve got your super moon, your blue moon, the Adam’s Family-esque blood moon and you’ve got your total lunar eclipse! You don’t even have to choose between which lunar phenomena you want to enjoy because by the time you’re reading this blog all of it happened at the same time.

This is one of those astrological events that makes me feel like I need to do something. In the very least I should cleanse my crystals, but I don’t think you’re supposed to do that during an eclipse, even though you are supposed to take advantage of the extra light of the super moon. Do you see how complex this could get? It’s like trying to figure out how to dress for a wedding and a funeral simultaneously!

Then there’s everyone on social media who is an expert on the heavenly bodies that influence our small, human existence. “Be aware of this, watch out for that….” They say. I just got a notification from a Vedic astrologer advertising, “How to survive this eclipse portal.”

No pressure or anything, it’s just a matter of life or death.

Catalyst Yogi delivers sometimes wild concepts in such a reasonable way I am able to benefit from his videos and posts. That’s an important skill for a spiritual teacher to have, you know, or how else are you ever going to get anyone to practice something called fire breath in lotus pose – am I right? He casually mentioned on Instagram regarding this lunar eclipse, “You’re about to get an energetic poke towards your destiny!”

Awesome. How about a little more of that.

But that’s also about the time I sat down with my blanket and closed my eyes, wondering what in the hell I’m supposed to do with all of this information. I want an assignment, you know;  write poetry on Target receipts and light ’em on fire, walk barefoot around the backyard widdershins and be on the lookout for the possum who lives under the porch, find out who ate the pink pool noodle and see if they need help.

While I was under my blanket, I remembered a moment in front of my meditation table not too long ago. You see, it is not uncommon to make an offering of fruit, incense or a candle. Typically the offering is to a favored Deity or placed before a picture of a beloved Teacher or Guru. Whilst leaving such an offering to a not so uncommon image, I felt suddenly gripped with an insecurity…. am I doing this right? Should I say something more, or perhaps less? Where should I put it and is that bowl nice enough? This is, of course, an approximation of the dialogue which was actually a sudden and inexplicable torrent of that kind of insecurity mashed into a split second feeling.

That ego is a tricky bitch, always trying to knock you off your game.

A reassuring grace followed, and though I was wilted, my practice wasn’t weakened from the momentary onslaught. Beneath the pressure of this super full blue blood eclipse, I’m going to share the thought that comforted me so much in that moment; you don’t actually have to do anything except show up for your sadhana (spiritual practice) and be as detached as you can be (Krishna had a lot to say about this; read The Bhagavad Gita if you haven’t already).

This is where you push back, I understand. There is so much to be done during these astrological alignments and portals and degrees of celestial awesome I would be remiss as a teacher to tell you to do anything less than EVERYTHING! possible to harness and release the magical energy locked – sealed! within the confines of these rare events.

Yes, I know.

But… do you ever feel like it’s too much? Do you ever feel like it is so meaningful that you get performance anxiety and instead do nothing? That’s where it becomes a problem, and that is when the fact that everyone on social media is a level nine astrologer tangles with our individual ability to dance with the planets and stars to the tune of our unique birth chart and relationship with the heavens.

Now you might be one of those Yogi’s who is perfectly capable of balancing the charge of a super moon with the reclusive combustion/yearning for ultimate purpose of a Leo eclipse, and if that’s the case you’re a better Libra than I. But if you feel overwhelmed by the information around this or really any celestial event, take a step back and get simple.

At the new moon think about what you would like to bring into your life.

At the fill moon consider what has come to fruition and might be moving out of your frame of vision.

During this cycle, or any moon cycle, don’t negate the rest of the phases of the moon in favor of conserving your focus for the new and full moon. For example, the waxing crescent is a fun time to pay attention to sprouts in your life. What talent or interest is flirting with your attention? Take a week or more to journal on this topic.

Go look at the stars without thinking about who or what might be where. Just appreciate their outrageous beauty and the fact that one of them might be your distant cousin.

I don’t think dancing with the celestial bodies should feel like work or be so overwhelming that we just freeze up around it. And remember, like when you leave an offering of fruit or flame, you don’t have to do anything except show up with devotion; the Divine is who receives it and transforms the offering into a blessing. If you want to get technical, it is also the Divine making the offering, just saying.

Sometimes being a witness with a wish to grow is enough to turn your presence into a blessing.

If you’re looking for grounded information I follow Jessica Lanyadoo on Instagram @jessica_lanyadoo she’s witty, well written and is usually very kind to Libras. http://www.lovelanyadoo.com/weekly-horoscope

Catalyst Yogi is excellent but not necessarily an astrologer. He gives accessible and reassuring insights into energetic goings on. Visit his blog catalystyogi.com

If you’d like something of the tarot card variety @thewelltarot gives a weekly shakedown that’ll help you watch your step and keep a sense of humor about it if you stumble. thewelltarot.com and sign up for her news letter.

Remember, not everyone on the internet is your friend and not everyone knows what in the hell they’re talking about.

 

Practical Magic

queen of cups

This New Year’s day happens to fall on the very same day in which the moon, our luminous satellite, is full in the night sky.

This is very auspicious.

Since getting on Instagram and enjoying all of the belly dance, tarot card and cat picture posts by resident witches, pagans and gypsies from around the world, I’ve discovered that everyone on the planet is an authority on astrology. I’ll be scrolling and see a long, emoji peppered post by a yoga teacher talking about how the moon is in Virgo so we better watch out, because it ain’t exalted there – or whatever.

I’m always like, “How do y’all know that? Where do you get your information?” Because I’m over here with my We’moon calendar trying to figure out what the symbol with the squiggly lines and horned dots is supposed to mean while the rest of y’all are planning your month around Pluto’s transits and solar flares.

The moon, on the other hand, is less foreign to me. The moon changes signs once about every two and a half days, so if you eff up a perfectly decent Moon in Libra by fighting with your spouse, you’ll get a re-do in about twenty eight days.

The new moon is a time for starting new projects and for setting intentions for what we would like to see increase in our lives. Think setting goals, re-aligning with your dreams, growing a business plan. Intention is something like a resolution, of which there are plenty at the New Year. Start a diet, get fit, finish the book, start the book, become a yoga celebrity, start college, ditch the loser, find a partner, quit drinking, quit smoking… you know what I’m talking about.

This is thinking in terms of, “I’m gonna do.” Not bad, but let’s turn it around.

The full moon is a good time to start thinking about what you would like to let go of, what you would like to see decrease in your life, what no longer upholds your dreams and aspirations or supports your work, whether that’s spiritually, mentally or physically. Think about what holds you back or enables procrastination. Y’all, the cosmos has set us up to do exactly that right here at the new year.

Turn your powers of discernment towards your day to day habits, contemplate what you want for your life and see where the two points are at odds. Question what you have set in place that keeps you from it. Instead of making a list of resolutions that you’re gonna start doing, decipher how you can get out of your own way and focus on that.

 

Now we’ve gotten around to the point of this post – your practice, should you choose to accept it. First, let me tell you that I have learned the fine art of using index cards in my spiritual practice from my beloved Teacher, Swami Jaya Devi. She has us write stuff on index cards all the time.

So here we go, starting right now, start thinking about habits that get in the way of what you really want to be doing with your life. Immediately one or two might come to you, but stay with it and see if there is anything beneath the surface. You can even take this into your meditation and sit with a nice, slow fire breath for about a minute and then sit in the stillness to see what comes up.

There may be one big hurdle that you want to focus all of your energy and upon which you wish all of the moon’s brilliant rays to shine. However, there may be a lot of small ways in which you sabotage yourself, so just write that stuff down, too. Now is a good time to remind you to approach this practice without judgement or criticism of yourself. Just remember that you’re trying to make a little room in your life to start a flower bed but you have to shovel out some dirt, first. Full moon is for excavation, new moon is for planting.

On New Year’s eve or day build yourself a nice little bonfire. Invite the kids and get some marshmallows and vegan hot dogs. Invite your family and friends and have plenty of index cards. Say a sweet prayer for guidance and protection to whomever you entrust your path and practice then invite everyone to write on their index card. No one needs to read anyone else’s, but between bites of s’mores place your card in the flames.

You may not be set up for a bonfire. Don’t worry about it. A fireplace or a coffee can in the driveway works nicely, too. But let me tell you something, this practice doesn’t have to be so woo woo. You can write, think, text, email your list to yourself and then delete it, recycle it, bury it. What you’re going for is awareness of self-limiting habits and then a method in which to transform it.

Don’t expect overnight magic, though we can hope, can’t we? We’ll have to work at it and remain mindful, but this is deeply symbolic to the human psyche and a powerful method of solidifying your intentions. Consider what you put in the fire to be an offering to your highest Self and to the inspiration you wish to have and to be. I wish you all the luck and all the space to express your creativity, compassion and genius in the new year. Remember to work with fire responsibly, make an effort on behalf of the good and share your stories with me if you’d like.

* Image “Queen of Cups” from Danielle Noel’s forthcoming tarot deck Moon Child, shadow deck to the Star Child Tarot. @moonchildtarot starchildtarot.com

Kicking Up Into Headstand and Other Bad Advice

queen

Sitting at my dark-wood roll-top desk, legs crossed under me on a grey armless chair, I turn my head to see Queen on SiriusXM radio, Another One Bites the Dust. I keep it on the 80’s on 8 channel because, you know. The volume is muted so I have to look at the album cover to see what’s playing. It makes no sense, I know, but neither does a lot of things.

When I was twenty-four, I worked at Dillard’s salon. Retail cosmetology is the absolute worst, the only consolation the multitude of stores in which to spend money while I await the promised clientele. At the same time, I dated an idiot who I let convince me I should become a real estate agent. As advice goes, this was pretty bad.

As a twenty-five year old real estate agent I was just terrible. I didn’t even do all the post licensing rigmarole because the National Association of Realtors took all my money in exchange for access to house listings and a lapel pin in the shape of an “R”. By the way, it’s pronounced “real-TOR!” and not “reel-AH-tor” as we like to say in the south. Get it right.

Thankfully, neither the guy or the real estate career worked out. While they stewed together in the sewer, I went and got a nice job waiting tables where the lapel pins were shaped like grapes and not like a ridiculous “R”.

A few years later on a cold December night, whilst rattling around in a lonesome stupor helped along by a large bottle of moderately good wine, my mother suggested to me that, perhaps, I could teach yoga. I immediately railed at her about what a horrible idea that is, given that I didn’t think my six or so years of practice constituted a decent level of experience to teach the stuff. Not only that, but there was not a single yoga teacher training academy in Pensacola.

A year later I take her relatively helpful advice, having decided for myself that a career in fitness and wellness could lift me out of the doldrums of food service, which might have inspired the previous year’s malaise. A new career was thus launched after a year of training and in less than three years I find myself enmeshed in the new and budding yoga teacher training programs in Pensacola as an instructor and mentor.

I might add that it took me a year to follow this good advice to go to teacher training, so it is plainly obvious that the speed with which I act on given advice is inverse to how good it is. For example, You say “This apple pie is hot, let it cool before you eat it.” Me – already chewing.

When I began teaching yoga I also started doing hair again. I was working at a high end salon. It was a pretty good gig because I could go teach a yoga class between clients. I could even schedule yoga classes around my budding clientele. However, I was getting advice from two corners; the salon owner advised me to dress like a stylist and less like a fitness professional at beauty boot camp and the yoga studio owner advised me to quit my job and teach yoga full time.

In response, I quit the salon and waited tables on the weekends so I could be all piss and vinegar during the yoga teaching workweek to which I was newly committed. Quitting the salon job was terrible advice. So was leaving the restaurant, which I refused to do, given its ability to pay bills and afford me the luxury of new books, high end cat food and  – ironically – flip-flops made out of yoga mats. This move might have ultimately cost me opportunities, since I didn’t really offer a great show of force in my commitment to yoga.

I’ve maneuvered, like a street magician’s sleight of hand of where’s the marble, around the three jobs of food service, cosmetology and teaching yoga, and the marble that ended up in the magician’s sleeve was teaching. Eventually I had to let something go. I was becoming a cynical instructor secretly hoping no one showed up to class. I took the advice of my own counsel and quit teaching at the studio.

The problem with being a yoga teacher without a studio home is that I sometimes see via the marvel of social media students share their practice. How is this a problem, you might wonder?

Last week I saw a video of a local student kick up into headstand. She was proud of headstand, which is a commendable pursuit and a practice with grounding and depth. It has cautions that come with it, along with important alignment cues and stability practices. One of the things I remember from my own teacher training is the emphasis on  taking care of the cervical spine and the importance of lifting into headstand with control and keeping a neutral neck in shoulder-stand. Kick right the hell up into handstand, put a hole in the wall with your foot if you want, but control is key in headstand.

I thought about leaving a comment on the clip – what do they call those now, gifs? I considered all the ways I might direct, assist or inform but felt uninvited and, quite frankly, like a troll. I have enough of that feeling when I go to Panera Bread and they tell me they are out of sprouted grain rolls for the day and I have to restrain the expression on my face – very troll like.

From my perspective I must, at best, look like an armchair quarterback. At worst, a cynical out of work yoga teacher with control issues. But I am not out of work – not with all those jobs – and if I do have control issues, the issue is with not taking responsibility  for my life sooner.

Yoga is not my main source of income and teaching it is no longer my career. With this realization comes a great bit of freedom, including the ability to teach whatever in the hell kind of class I want because paying my light bill no longer hinges on the number of students who show up. It is my job to reassure and instruct, but not necessarily to make you like me.

This also means I can say whatever I want, in the name of safe and healthy alignment, so I’m going to give everyone some good advice – don’t kick up into headstand. Ask yourself, “What would Iyengar do?” and then do that.

I realized this week, between the dance between biting my tongue about technique and finding empowerment around the freedom of teaching off the clock, that giving up on my profession was the best thing I could have ever done for my practice. I am also renewed in teaching, as any good teacher will tell you, Dear Reader, because the practice informs what instructors are best able to teach.

Here’s a fantastic video on safely practicing headstand. She gives great cues and alignment instruction. https://supersisterfitness.com/safely-properly-headstand-for-beginners/ 

 

Rethinking The Great American Eclipse

This is the day before the Great American Eclipse and let me tell you something – I’m tired of hearing about it. I’m tired of seeing articles on it and talking about it, too. I read horoscopes and Vedic astrology and like any decent new age kid I follow The Hood Witch, Mystic Mamma and Serpentfire on Instagram, so I kinda already know everything about all the woo woo of this eclipse in Leo. Just saying.

Right now I’m over it all. There is an expectation in the air for this eclipse, like we’re collectively going to be able to release dogmas that have held us back from being our best, brightest and most enlightened selves. We’re going to break through or jump over this eclipse portal to be somehow different and better than before. It’s like 2012 all over again without the hysteria and subterranean fear of aliens no one wanted to talk about until after it was over.

This eclipse portal and all its fetishized implications, the least of which is that this country’s leadership will somehow come under the control of someone with some sense, makes me feel like an under achiever. There’s lots of internet chatter, which I have resolved to henceforth ignore unless it’s in regards to this blog or my Etsy shop, about this eclipse aligning us with our true purpose, our dharma, our raison d’etre. I’ve heard that before and now it’s just starting to piss me off.

Maybe it’s because I have a cold and feel like an under achiever, because all I want to do is drink ginger tea and eat noodles, but I feel pissy about this topic of dharma and purpose. Does this mean that in my pissy-ness I will neglect my practices, that I won’t do my mantra or that I’ll say to hell with you all and those damn cardboard glasses that make everyone who puts them on look like ALF?

Of course I will do my practices, but I’m not doing them with any certainty that lightening will crack open the sky and I’ll have a clear vision of my own raison d’etre – eclipse or no. In fact, I’m not so sure about that whole reason for being anymore, at least not in the great sweeping sense of finality that has made me feel like a desperate yogi on the lookout from some outpost on the edge of the world. Maybe we’re not supposed to have the one, explicit unchangeable thing that we are – poet, doctor, lover, priest, garbageman, physicist…. What if the work isn’t to discover what we are but, instead, to peel away everything we are not.

I spent six years thinking, decidedly, that my purpose on this planet was to teach yoga classes. I fell in with a crowd who I let convince me that “job” and “calling” must coincide and I’ve been miserable ever since. By the time I wrapped that up a few months ago, I felt strained resentment for the “profession” and annoyance at the decidedly shiny happy people who insist on yoga #everydamnday and never ever admitting to feelings of sadness, frustration or anything below the acceptable baseline of utter joy.

Sometime around my first year of teaching yoga I did Rod Stryker’s online workshop on The Four Desires, which is a book about helping the aspirant uncover the fundamental intention of their soul and purpose for walking upon this Earth. The book talks about intention, decision and the four aims of life which are the investment of oneself equally in duty, wealth, pleasure and the pursuit of liberation. I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty much me #everydamnday

Upon further contemplation and a few years under my belt, I am given pause at the audacity of someone implying I must qualify my existence with an acceptable statement of intent.  All of the stream of consciousness writing I did during this online workshop with The Four Desires left me feeling as confounded as reading about the implications of this eclipse we’re looking at tomorrow. If there is work to do, I don’t know what it is. If there are special maaracas I am supposed to shake, then I don’t know where they are. If I am supposed to be something more or different than myself after the moon dances in front of the sun tomorrow afternoon, I don’t know what that looks like.

Dear Reader, have you ever practiced puja or prayers in which you left offerings on your meditation table or altar? Perhaps a bouquet of flowers or a small cup of water in front of a picture of the Black Madonna or Jesus? Have you ever removed the pits from dates and left them before a statue of the Buddha? Have you ever dared to leave dark chocolate before an image of Kali?

Well, I have (or variations thereof), and sometimes I wondered if there was something else I was supposed to do other than leave the milk, the oats, the water or incense. Should I do something more than leave an offering? Ought I to say a special mantra specifically designed for aspirants on the spiritual path to say while making devotionals? If so, I don’t know what it is and am confounded by that, too.

Then, like lightening opening the sky, one night it struck me that it’s not my job to know what to do with the offerings. I hand it over for a reason…. I give over the chocolate, the flowers, the water, the flame and I set it down. Setting it down is part of the practice. Perhaps, for some of us, it is the hardest part of the practice. But by the very virtue of being the one leaving the offering, I am not the one who has to know what to do with it.

So here we are on the precipice of this magnificent celestial event, and if you’re anything like me you might have cultivated all sorts of spiritual expectations and psychic implications around it. It’s okay, as you can see, clearly I have too. But I’ve been doing some writing today, and I’ve been doing the one practice I have clung to during the maelstrom of information, astrological guidance and implicit warnings regarding the path of the moon’s shadow passing over our great nation.

That one practice to which I have clung is the silent mantra, which is a great tool for overcoming the shadow of negative thinking that stretches across the mind during times of transformation and change. Sometimes, negativity manifests as expectation. Think about it – has doing something awesome ever made you feel like crap? No, it hasn’t. But any wall of expectation you built around the awesome thing you did might have made you feel like crap. If it didn’t then you’re more enlightened than me, so…..call me, tell me your ways. Because if I write and publish a book and it’s anything less than a run away best seller, I’m going to feel like a failure. See, isn’t that crazy? That’s what I’m talking about.

I see the real potential for this eclipse to leave folks deflated and a little depressed, like the wake of a few weeks into the New Year, because I’ve seen a lot of talk regarding the expectations of this eclipse. There is a heightened sense of something, and even though we don’t know what it is or even if it’ll be good, at least it’ll be different.

Make your expectations like an offering to the Sun – set them down and let ’em go.

At the eleventh hour, when I’ve had quite enough of all this talk of dharma, transformation and upheaval, I’m going to suggest you do whatever it is you’re gonna do and to the best of your ability, let it go. Get grounded before you stare into the sun, set your feet firmly on the path to which you committed and hold onto your practices with both hands. If you’re doing that, then you won’t have a free hand to hang onto expectations and projections so, whether this eclipse is just a really cool astronomical occurrence or a major astrological event that ushers in a time of peace and prosperity, you’ll be receptive and present.

Also – this is what everyone I’ve seen so far looks like wearing their eclipse glasses….

alfglasses

 

 

A Storybook About Life

When I was fifteen I got my first deck of tarot cards. They were a Christmas present from my dad, though they were not a surprise because I made him take me to the store to pick them out – The Tarot of the Cat People by Karen Kuykendall and I loved them.

The Star Cat People

The Star can indicate the refreshment and re-alignment with life purpose. It can mean the harmonious blending of resources for self-improvement and inspiration.

Almost immediately my uncle had a fit. He is about as tall as I was in 1995. His eyes have a tendency to run out of their sockets when provoked. Tarot of the Cat People, with its retro vibe and muted jewel tone color pallet, was enough to provoke the hell out of him.

He had a marvelous fit over my tarot cards and they ended up back at the bookstore, both my father and I effectively frightened by Early’s histrionics. Yes, his name really is Early. A year or so later, with the distance of another state between us, I realized my uncle wasn’t mature enough for Tarot of the Cat People, which I promptly re-purchased and still have, wrapped in a piece of pillowcase from the eighties and nestled in a dark wood box.

Since turning seventeen, I read lots of tarot cards and collected numerous decks. My favorites were The Cat People and The Egyptian Tarot, which is now out of print.  I also had a fun, kitschy Halloween tarot deck that is whimsical and retro. Though I parred my collection down, I kept these. The Egyptian Tarot was a particular favorite because of the liberal use of deities and sunlight.

Egyptian Tarot Death

The Death Card symbolizes transformation and releasing unhealthy attachments. Pictured here is Anubis, God of the Underworld.

Several years ago now, I dated “the wrong man” I wanted so badly to be the love of my life. We were a long distance hot mess couple who were terrible for each other but there was this gripping determination I had choking my heart and all reason.

I took to the cards to give me answers. I wrestled with them, demanded answers that fit with the way I wanted things to be. I was willful and tense until I realized I was wrestling with something so much bigger than I was. It wasn’t the cards but the Universe in question, and the Universe doesn’t so much win or lose but simply IS.

About the same time I realized I was no longer in control, or wanted to be, I met my Teacher and my spiritual practices changed. I wanted more to see where I was going than to dictate where I would go. I started to feel something uncoiling from within me which felt infinitely more freeing than investing in wrangling something outside myself.

Hanged man Halloween tarot

The Hanged Man, from The Halloween Tarot, can reflect that you’re feeling stuck or restricted, which is kinda why I got in touch with Uma in the first place.

Last December I was in turmoil because teaching yoga hadn’t quite worked out the way I’d hoped when I went into yoga teacher training seven or so years ago. I thought I was making a career change for the better but what I was investing myself in began to feel like a multi-level marketing business with fitness professionals at the top and raggedy ass cronies at the bottom driving all over the coast teaching yoga classes. This is not what I put on my vision board, people.

While contemplating where my vision board might have gone wrong, I had a random idea; Have a reading with Uma, the idea urged, and that’s what I did.

Uma Simon is a monk and resident at Kashi Florida, the ashram where my Guru lived and taught and where my own Teacher studied. Uma lives there and reads tarot for a living. I considered that, even though I’d begun to doubt the depth or purpose of tarot, certainly having a reading with someone who lives on the very ashram where the Teacher of my heart studied has merit! Uma greeted my email warmly and we had an appointment early the next week.

I felt like I’d met her before, and I very well may have when I was last there. She was easy to talk to even though I could hear myself as though in third person and felt like I sounded like a hot mess. Hot mess or no, she didn’t treat me like one. She was very nice to me and had helpful things to say.

Before we got off the phone I asked her about reading tarot. I explained that I’d lost confidence in tarot and that I felt like I’d just been swimming upstream with the cards. I didn’t even know what I expected to get out of them anymore.

There was a thoughtful pause at the other end before she said one of the two sentences I replay for myself often, “Reading the cards can just be a vehicle for your intuition…”

I felt refreshed by this, like I’d taken myself off of restriction and could go play with my friends outside. I went to my decks and unwrapped them, though they no longer felt familiar to me. Not sure if it was me or them, I turned to ye ‘ole reliable internets and shopped for a new deck.

Shopping for new tarot decks after a seven year hiatus has got to be its own blog post, but just let me say here that a lot has changed since 1999 and I had to order from the bookstore or mail order from The Witch’s Almanac. There is this thing called “indie decks” which are published by independent artists that’ll make you feel like the Universe is sending you post cards.

What I experience now with tarot is that my hope isn’t to be told what to do or where to go, but to experience the landscape of my mind and life’s events with both detachment and understanding. I am learning that tarot is not divination as we think of it as fortune-telling, but that it is a means by which we may communicate with clear consciousness from where wise insights and inspiration comes. It is by tuning into this visual, symbolic tool that we intuit guidance for ourselves and others.

Returning to this practice feels like writing again after ignoring my work or shredding my journals. I forgot how much I enjoyed it and what a comfort simply shuffling the cards can be. There is a difference in maturity in myself that I can see now, and that the break from the cards served an important task of giving me perspective. I am mighty glad for the inspiration to return.

I’d like to share a fitting quote from The Hoodwitch, a most excellent mystic I follow on my new favorite social media platform – Instagram. She says, Fear is dangerous, not the tarot. The tarot represents the spectrum of the human condition, the good, the evil, the light, and the dark. Do not fear the darker aspects of the human condition. Understand them. The tarot is a storybook about life, about the greatness of human accomplishment, and also the ugliness we are each capable of. @thehoodwitch

I could not have said it better myself.

If you’d like to know more about Uma or to book a reading check out her website UMASIMON.COM

Knight of Swords starchild

The Knight of Swords begins new projects with critical thinking aligned with inspiration and fresh energy. This card reminds us not to rush but to remain excited. This is one of my favorite cards in tarot.

Starchild Tarot by Danielle Noel – starchildtarot.com

 

The Teachings of Wonder Woman

Now listen ya’ll, I can’t promise there aren’t going to be spoilers in this post, so if you’re going to get mad about it wait and come back after you’ve seen it. Those of you who know me, know I’m not a comic book movie person. Personally, I like Transformers best. I don’t like Batman though I’d be inclined to give Iron Man the time of day, but that’s more a Robert Downy Jr thing than a super hero thing.

Then there’s Wonder Woman.

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I planned on seeing Wonder Woman, probably after it came out on DVD, until I saw the clip with Robin Wright riding a horse and shooting an arrow in slow motion. Let me set the tone for you; it was day three or so into the ten day yoga detox I do with Swami three times a year. Two or three days in is not the most glorious or fantastic. I felt tired, hungry and haggard. This is the natural course of things in a detox, I think, before the slinky, clear and luminous feelings arise. I was feeling old when I saw Robin Wright with her fierce lion face and mow-hawk braid and I thought, “I wonder how old she is?”

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She is 51 years old. I take this to mean that my time to ride a horse while I practice archery in slow motion has not yet passed. This much needed psychological boost inclined me to go see the movie in the theater. Yes, I went to see Wonder Woman so I could watch Jenny from Forrest Gump kick some ass. She was worth the price of admission.

Through the course of the movie I got swept all up in it, Reader. You just wouldn’t believe it. But while I was all awash in feminine power and might there was a part of my writer mind composing a blog about it. Aren’t we all lucky I am so good at multi-tasking.

Here are a few suspicions I have had that were confirmed by Wonder Woman

~ The interests you have when you are seven are good indicators of what you should pay attention to as you grow up. Just because collecting Unicorn figurines doesn’t seem to have much merit when you graduate high school doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider a vocation in animal husbandry. I’m just saying, pay attention to your dreams, and then insist on them. Insist on them even if your mother is the Queen of Themyscira and doesn’t want you training to be an Amazon warrior. Do it anyway.

~ Playing small doesn’t help anyone, especially not you. In fact, the opposite is true. Playing big will inspire others to be big, too. This makes getting things done easier and inspires greatness in the world.

~ Ignorance is not bliss. This is a concept the Yogis know very well; the root of suffering and all trouble comes from forgetting our Divinity. Luckily for us and for Diana – Wonder Woman herself – there is an inevitable moment of remembering for us all. Even luckier for us is that we get to see that moment when it happens for Wonder Woman and she recognizes her Divine heritage. It’s a game changer people.

~ The same energy that can cause all kinds of hell and misery can be used for good and transformation as well. Electricity is a fine example of this – it can shock the hell out of you or it can make your room nice and bright so you can read and get your eyeliner on straight. At the end of the movie there is a most magnificent moment in which Wonder Woman snatches the malevolent currents thrust at her from the hands of the God of War right out of the ethers and uses them for her own purposes. In this case, it was to defeat the God of War – oh the irony. What might have killed her, saved her and the world. Use what you’ve got and use it for the good.

~ Training is important. Even Wonder Woman had to practice, which she did every day. This isn’t even a sneaky “yoga every day damn” post because it might be crochet you’re into. If you slack off then your afghans are going to be saggy and inconsistent. Practice

~ We need a hero, we need a strong and impressive leading lady who doesn’t play to the leading man. But, and I think most importantly, regardless of gender, we need to see the hero within ourselves. Just like it’s almost like we are born to forget our Divinity, we aren’t programmed to know that we are what we’ve been waiting for.

Wonder Woman waits not a moment for someone else to do anything. She grew up empowered – she grew up with Amazon Warriors, for heaven’s sake. So let’s not be too hard on ourselves for not necessarily having a strong sense of self efficacy. But it’s a good goal with a powerful trajectory I’d personally like to work on.

This last point brings to mind a quote by Glinda, the Good Witch of the South, “You had the power all along, my Dear.”

Like Wonder Woman, walking around a Goddess and didn’t even know it. Until she did, and then she owned it. We’ve had the power all along, my Dears.

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